T0RN BETWEEN L0VERS

JUST TO BE CLEAR.....iM A VERY HONEST PERSON AND iM A STRONG BELIEVER IN MONOGAMY SO THERE iS NO CHEATiNG GOING ON WiTHiN THiS SiTUATiON.


iM USUALLY THAA TYPE WHO DONT GET iNTO RELATiONSHiPS UNLESS iM REALLY FEELiNG THAA DUDE. WELL i HAVE A BOYFRiEND WHOM i CARE FOR DEARLY iTS NOT LOVE BUT i LiKE DUDE ALOT. HE SAiD HE LOVE ME BUT i JUST DONT FEEL iT. i JUST FEEL DEEPLY FOR HiM. THAA WAY i AM i DONT REALLY BELiEVE WHAT iM TOLD THAT EASiLY. WHiCH iS SAD CUZ i MiGHT BE MiSSiNG OUT ON THAA BEST THiNG FOR ME VERSES MY EX FiANCE. WHiCH iS BACK iN THAA PiCTURE BUT EVERYONE KEEP TELLiNG ME TO KEEP HiM iN THE PAST. MY HEART WONT LET ME. iT TOOK ALOT FOR ME TO LET HiM GO AND NOW THAT HE BACK iTS LiKE DAMN i JUST WANNA UP AND LEAVE MY SiTUATiON THAT iM iN NOW BUT iTS NOT RiGHT FOR ME TO DO THAT. iTS LiKE MY BOYFRiEND HAS THAA POTENTiAL TO HAVE ME FALL iN LOVE WiTH HiM BUT iTS NOT HAPPENiNG NOW. MY EMOTiONS ARE SO EAGER TO FEEL SOMETHiNG AND SOON BUT iT MiGHT BE FOR THAA WRONG PERSON. I MEAN i LOVE MY EX WiTH ALL MY HEART. BUT HE BAD FOR ME. HE LiE AND CHEAT AND HE ABANDONED ME YET i WANT TO SPEND THAA REST OF MY LiFE WiTH HiM. i SWEAR BEiNG A GiRL FUCKEN SUCKS. i WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A MAN I SWEAR iWAS CUZ i ACT JUST LiKE ONE BUT MY EX BRINGS MY GIRLISH QUALiTiES OUT OF ME WHiCH COULD B GOOD OT BAD BUT AROUND MY BOYFRIEND I FEEL FREE TO BE WHO I AM. WHICH IS A BURPING FAT OBNOXIOUS GIRL WHO DONT CARE WHO'S WATCHiNG WHEN i DO SO. I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHiCH iS GOOD FOR ME CUZ i DONT WANNA PROLONG THiS ORDEAL CUZ iTS JUST GONNA HURT SOMEONE EVEN MORE iN THAA END.

ODE TO RAY J'S SONG MELODY

THiS iS SUCH A BOMB SONG. i JUST SiT AND ViBE OUT TO iT. RAY J REALLY CAPTURED HiS LOVE FOR MUSiC iN A SENSE OF IT BEiNG FOR A WOMAN. HE PUTS ON AN ILLUSION MAKiNG HiS AUDiENCE THiNK iTS A GiRL WHO HE FEELS SO DEEPLY FOR BUT MELODY iS HiS MUSiC AND HE LOVES iT SO MUCH. JUST THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF iT ALL iS SO CAPTiVATiNG

RANDOM BABBLES

SOME OF MY FRiENDS ASK ME HOW DO i GET iN THEE MOOD TO WRiTE SUCH DEEP BLOGS. WELL i JUST USUALLY ViBE OUT TO SOME MELLOW MUSiC. USUALLY ACOUSTiC LiKE SOME CORRiNE BAiLEY OR SOME HOPE. i LOVE CALM SOOTHiNG MUSiC WHiLE WRiTTiNG OR FOR ANYTHiNG ELSE OF THAT MATTER. BUT i JUST CENTER MY SELF AND FOCUS ALL MY ENERGY ON MY WRiTTiNG. iVE ALWAYS BEEN iNTO ENGLiSH AND POETRY AND JUST ANYTHiNG CREATiVE. iTS ALWAYS TiCKLED MY FANCY. i LiKE TO WRiTE ABOUT HOW i FEEL SiNCE i HAVE NOT A SOUL TO LiSTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT HOW i FEEL LMAOOO. MY CPU iS MY BESTEST FRiEND iN THEE WORLD CUZ iM TOO OUTSPOKEN AND REAL FOR FRiENDS. i HAVE ENTiRELY TOO MANY PPL WHO HATE ME CUZ i SPEAK WHAT MOST ARE AFRAiD TO. BUT iN THAA END iM HAPPY WiTH WHO I AM AND iF THEY DONT LiKE ME i DONT CARE CUZ REAL RECOGNiZE REAL

WHATS THAA CATCH?

SO iN TODAYS SOCiETY THERES THiS THiNG CALLED "FRiENDS WiTH BENEFiTS" OR WHAT i WOULD LiKE TO CALL FRiENDS WiTH BENNYS. SOME SMART MOTHA FUCKA CAME UP WiTH THAA CONCEPT OF HAViNG SEX WiTHOUT COMMiTTiNG TO ANY TYPE OF RELATiONSHiP. AS iF PREMARiTAL SEX iSNT BAD ENOUGH NOW SEX iS LOOSiNG iTS VALUE DAY BY DAY BECAUSE OF PPL AND THERE LACK OF COMMiTMENT AND MORALS. ME PERSONALLY i BELiEVE iN BUYiNG THEE COW iNSTEAD OF GiViNG OUT FREE MiLK. i MEAN YEA ONCE iN A BLUE MOON i MiGHT WiLDOUT AND HAVE AN ONE NiGHT TYPE THiNG BUT PPL THESES DAYS MAKE THAT A REGUALR TO JUST DO SOMETHiNG THATS SUPPOSE TO BE A SHOW OF EFFECTiON AND TURN iT iNTO RECREATiON. THERES SUCH A DECLiNE iN MOTiVATiON WiTHiN SOCiTY TODAY AND iTS HONESTLY HEART BREAKiNG. i MEAN COME ON NOW. PPL SAY THEY DONT WORK WiTH EMOTiONS SO THEY CAN DEAL WiTH iT BUT END UP BEiNG HEARTBROKEN AND ABANDONED DUE TO LACK OF KNOWLEDGE OF THEE OUTCOME OF DOING SO iN SUCH A LONG PERiOD OF TiME. iVE WiTNESS GOOD FRiENDS FALL ViCTiM TO FRiENDS WiTH BENNYS. iTS ALL FUN iN THE BEGiNNiNG TiLL HE FiNDS OR SHE FiNDS A REAL RELATiONSHiP FROM SOMEONE ELSE AND UR SUCK LOOKiNK STUPiD. i FEEL iTS A WASTE OF TiME AND ALL KINDS OF UNNESSECARY EMOTiONS. SO PLEASE i ASK YOU TO TAKE HEAD TO MY WORDS AND REALLY THiNK ABOUT WHAT U GET iNTO BEFORE U DO ANYTHiNG TO HURT YOURSELF OR OTHERS

Confessions Of A Broken Heart

i BELiEVE i SPEAK FOR EVERY LiTTLE GiRL WHO EVER WiSHED TO BE iN LOVE AND DREAMS WHERE SHATTERED COMPLETLY BY A BOY WHO WHAT THOUGHT TO B THAT PRiNCE CHARMiNG.

ONCE UPON A TiME i WAS iN LOVE WiTH A BOY. HE WAS MORE THAN WHAT MOST CONSiDER AMAZiNG. YOU KNO HOW iT iS WHEN U LiKE A BOY AND U WANNA TELL HiM THAT HE MAKES YOUR STOMACH DO NUMEROUS BACK FLiPS AND HE iS ALL YOU THiNK OF BEFORE U GO 2 SLEEP AND YOUR FiRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP. BUT UR YOUNG AND DONT KNO iF THEY FEEL THAA SAME. BUT WiTH MY STORY i KNEW HE KiNDA FELT THAA SAME BUT i FELT i WASNT THAT iT GiRL. TiME AND TiME AGAiN i TRiED TO GO ABOVE AND BEYOND THAA CALL OF DUTY JUST TO SHOW HIM HEY iM HERE FOR U i WANT YOU. BUT HE SEEMED TO ALWAYS HAVE A NEW GiRL. ALWAYS ANOTHER AND NEVER ME. BUT FOR YEARS i WOULD HOLD ON WAiTiNG FOR HiM 2 COME AROUND. HE WOULD ALWAYS FiLL ME UP WiTH HOPE THEN THE NEXT HE WAS WiTH A NEW GiRL. KiSSiNG ON HER. LOViNG HER AND NEVER ME. i WAS A FAiTHFUL REBOUND TO HIM. NOW i KNO U PROBABLY THiNKiNG LiKE HEY SHE A DUMB BiTCH. BUT iM NOT i WAS JUST A GiRL WHO THOUGHT SHE FOUND MR RiGHT AND HE WAS LOOKING FOR MRS. RiGHT NOW. SOMETiMES PPL COME iN YOUR LiFE AND ARE ONLY SUPPOSE 2 B THERE FOR A SEASON BUT SOME JUST LiKE ME MAKE THEM STAY LONGER THAN RECOMMENDED. BUT ALL IN ALL WE ESTABLISHED A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP. ALL THAA TEARS AND YEARS MADE US AN UNBREAKABLE BOND. NOT A RELATiONSHiP BUT A LiFETiME FRiENDSHiP. HE WiLL ALWAYS HOLD A BiG PART OF MY HEART. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM

a real man

so there's this boy. i feel so deeply for him. its something of what ive never felt. you kno how u be in relationships and u feel like the other person is unfaithful or feel no interseted but you still stay. well with him i dont feel that way. at first i was kinda scared. i was like theres gotta b a catch because this boy is too perfect. he too good to be true. and i realized when u sike your self out you end up loosing a good thing. not all men are out for blood. some are out for love. so if your mind and heart dont have a doubt dont make it doubt. dont make your self see the bad. just accept the good and be happy and thankful for finding a good person. im so thankful that i have him in my life. its so hard not thinking i might fuck up but i kno if its something good imma do my best to keep what we have. ive been thru too much to just go back to the bottom. ive never met a dude who can make my stomach do backflips of joy. not pain. And never have i ever met a guy who shows so much love and compassion for a person. he just exceeds my expectations. he my dream guy. i cherish the day he told me he loves me. he dont hold back his feelings and shows me the contents of his heart. i feel like thee luckiest girl in the world.

What is a friend?

how much is enough? you can b thee best friend u can be but still get fucked over. im starting to think that being friendless is the best way to go since i grew up with no friends to begin with. some might say im not people friendly but i damn sure wont fuck anyone over. its like this; either u have a friend who is real with u some times too real or...deal with back stabbing. id rather have a person to keep it as real as possible because im a very forgiving person but...what i can forgive is lying. if i give you my word that im going to forgive u then u as my friend should believe me. which leads me to my story..lol. so i have this friend. She been down since middle school and shit. but she lies to me. about big shit. but thats not the point. she messed with a couple of my exes behind my back. she lies about it at first. then the truth comes out later. i dont understand it. why is it so damn hard 2 b honest? so we in vegas and shit. you know..partying...drinking..shit like that. and i get so damn drunk i forget thee whole damn night. but anyways. i knew this guy from long beach that was out there on business and he was at the bar with me and her just drinking and shit. so i get too drunk and he walks me to the front of the hotel i was staying at. not to the room just the front. she tells my auntie im fucking the boy. but she ended up looking dumb cuz my auntie came up 2 the room and i was there. then she came to the room and my auntie left. my cousin and her friends came 2 the room and from what i was told she was having a major confession session. she said she wanted to fuck my boy friend and she fucked more of my exes and all kinda shit...like wtf. so yea i dont kno what a friend is. cuz if thats a friend....illl ride out alone